Weakly Standardisin’

Thee must allow, Mr. Bones, that the señorito element at Wingnut City was as surprised as anybody else that M. Putin has suddenly taken to bushifying his path through the world. Naturally it makes them squirm even more that M. Putin has attained a tactical surprise that was out of the question for Rancho Crawford in Afghanistan or the former Iraq. A spokesman for the militant extremist GOP has spoken as follows:

“It doesn’t look like this was premeditated, with a massive staging of equipment,” one senior American official said. “Until the night before the fighting, Russia seemed to be playing a constructive role.”

Whereas when Major Leaker’s own crew decided to aggress into Mesopotamia, one would have needed to be blind and deaf not to notice ’em comin’ months in advance! I suppose a dubyapologist who takes an interest in the technical details of organised violence, as Big Party Neocomrade W. Kristol emphatically does not, would attempt to standardize that aspect of these parallel human events by pointing out that it did not do the Ba‘thís any discernable good to know long in advance that the vigilante cowpokers were on the warpath and headed towards Baghdád. Juggernaut does not require to take her victims by surprise. [1]

When it comes to analysin’ a way out of his unexpected embarrassment, the Murdoch-baser becomes very juggical indeed. Little Billy K. starts sneakin’ up on M. Putin and M. Saakashvili almost eighty-five years in advance:

In August 1924, the small nation of Georgia, occupied by Soviet Russia since 1921, rose up against Soviet rule. On Sept. 16, 1924, [t]he Times of London reported on an appeal by the president of the Georgian Republic to the League of Nations. While “sympathetic reference to his country’s efforts was made” in the Assembly, the Times said, “it is realized that the League is incapable of rendering material aid, and that the moral influence which may be a powerful force with civili[s]ed countries is unlikely to make any impression upon Soviet Russia.”

Little Billy may not consider his own sort of thing to be sneakin’, however, because what he mostly wants to do is howl that Russia remains as uncivili[s]ed as ever, plus probably that St. Woodrow’s silly notions about nation leagues and security collectives have not improved with the mere lapse of years. In his Murdoch-based boilerplate,

Dictators aren’t moved by the claims of justice unarmed; aggressors aren’t intimidated by diplomacy absent the credible threat of force; fanatics aren’t deterred by the disapproval of men of moderation or refinement.

Presumably that verbal neo-gunk should put the (moderate and refined) Senatorino from Illinois in his place unilaterally and preëmptively.

Little Billy has only the usual 750 words, Mr. Bones, bear that in mind, please! Thee cannot infer with absolute certainty that our Big Management Party señorito is incapable of presentin’ the claims of justice unarmed and the charms of epithets postponed. Maybe Billy K. can do those parlour tricks with half his brain tied behind his back, only not inside the op-ed straightjacket. Not when he must rush headlong towards his factional BottomLine®:

When the “civilized world” expostulated with Russia about Georgia in 1924, the Soviet regime was still weak. In Germany, Hitler was in jail. Only 16 years later, Britain stood virtually alone against a Nazi-Soviet axis. Is it not true today, as it was in the 1920s and ’30s, that delay and irresolution on the part of the democracies simply invite future threats and graver dangers?

He is in such a hurry that we are never distinctly told exactly what measures are being delayed and irresolved upon, though it is not hard to guess them with a Murdoch-baser. If M. Putin "gets away" with this sincere flattery of the Crawfordites, he may well start thinking that he is Juggernaut after all. To avoid anythin’ so shockin’ly awful as that, let Boy and Dynasty and Party and Ideology see to it that M. Putin does not get away with Abkhazia and South Ossetia: ¡caveant consules ne quid detrimenti res publica capiat!

With little Billy K., one should probably punctuate "Respublica" and take it to refer to the militant extremist GOP pretty exclusively. At widest, to the whole Coalition of the Willful, AEI and GOP and DOD and USIP along with a few other neocomradely packs and covens and whatnot. Though not formally a BottomLine®, the most interesting thing in the scribble is the following:

But Georgia, a nation of about 4.6 million, has had the third-largest military presence — about 2,000 troops — fighting along with U.S. soldiers and marines in Iraq. For this reason alone, we owe Georgia a serious effort to defend its sovereignty. Surely we cannot simply stand by as an autocratic aggressor gobbles up part of — and perhaps destabilizes all of — a friendly democratic nation that we were sponsoring for NATO membership a few months ago.

"For that reason alone" the neocomrades and señoritos owe ...! Kristol Minor has selected a very strikin’ tail to swing his elephant with. One has to be pretty well totally abandomed to willful coalitionism to want to holler "The cause of makin’ the extremist GOP look good in Iraq is the cause of us all!" M. Saakashvili does not inspire much sympathy chez moi, generally speaking, but presented by Narcissus Dexter with that slice of tripe and baloney, who can fail to feel at least a little sorry for the exotic hack pol? [2]

For that reason alone the neocomrades and señoritos owe ...?

Well, their obligations are up to them, Mr. Bones, and it would not do for grown-ups to impertinently interfere. And since it is only little Billy Kristol mouthin’ off here, we need not get worked up about the fact that the señorito element have no intention of meetin’ their obligations with their own private-sectorian resources when they think they can pick Uncle Sam’s pocket instead. On top of havin’ approximately zero interest in Mil. Sci., the Weekly Standard laddie has never concerned himself with gatherin’ political support for his faction’s capers overseas. The Murdoch-basers may, though it seems unlikely to me off-hand, actually manage to get poor Sam to bail out their ol’ pal Mike [Saakashvili]. If they do, that will be rather a fact about US than about whether señoritos and neocomrades have covered themselves with glory in the former Iraq. To suppose it would be a fact about Caucasian Georgia -- or about die Weltordnung überhaupt! -- would be downright dotty.

But God knows best. I wish thee Happy Days, sir.

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[1] The señorito element may find it encouragin’ to reflect that M. Putin cannot be Juggernaut, since he has to sneak up on his patients before pouncing. But most likely they will only bitch and moan that M. Putin should be able to pounce at all. Kristol Minor says nothin’ at all about the sudden shock of this awful development -- unless thee rather fantastically suppose it to be lurking in the words "at times we seem oddly timid and uncertain."


[2] Narky D. is so busy emotin’ about himself that he does not, perhaps, notice how ... how strange it makes his Uncle Sam look to have Caucasian Georgia as his number two international ideobuddy and second and bottle-washer, immediately after the forty-pound poodle of Airstrip One. Of course the Lone Ranger does not care to be overshadowed by Tonto, that is only to be expected, but this is ridiculous.