26 April 2010

’Tis now to be "war of awesome dimensions," by G*m!



Dear Dr. Bones,

Let us invoke the Spirit of Music, shall we, seeing that Bedrich Smetana will be making a guest appearance this morning?

*** OVERTURE ***




"War of awesome dimensions, a war with a long and bloody history [that] is not the consequence of this or that unpopular policy but above all of beliefs we are not even supposed to pronounce nowadays, the crazed visions of Muslim extremists who are waging jihad against us. And [a war that is the consequence of] the beliefs of radical secular extremists who share the goals of jihad. That war is being waged by people who hate America and Israel, as they hate Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddhists, and those many Muslims who want to live in peace."


*** INTERMEZZO sive ZWISCHENSPIEL ***



Suppose, sir, that you woke up in your hammock one fine morning to discover that that, presumably either for your sins or for His own entertainment, Father Zeus had transformed you, not into a fat disgusting cockroach like poor Herr Samsa chez Kafka, but into a lean-an’-mean and militant and extreme Hyperzionist. Rather like Grand Ayatollah Mikey Bin Ledeen is, if you know what I mean.

If you prefer, we can leave you out of the game and directly imagine His Eminence wakin’ up and findin’ His own Self-Eminence in the Cartesian plight of literally havin’ "to live [say, the Tuesday of next week, 4 May 2010] as if it were the first day of [His Eminence’s] life." [0]

Well as usual , I don't strictly mean ‘literally’, even as I do not propose to dabble in any philosophy more exalted than the joke Neoëxistentialism of Team Jabotinsky. To refine the hypothesis, then, suppose His scenario-bound Eminence to wake up, recallin’ what Hyperzion is, and more or less able to find it on a map, and--above all--remainin’ militant and extremist that Hyperzion must remain Hyperzion [1], exfoliatin’ all its exotic neobeauties without stint or limit in sæcula sæculorm amen.

What our feigned H.E. does not remember is the correlation of farces in the world: who is a friend to Hyperzion, or at least a useful idiot, who is neutral, and who is not only antimegistodemographical [1a] in sime inherited or religionistic way, but actively and avowedly antihyperzionist, at Turtle Bay or in any other forum that dares to show its head in public.

In short, imagine that my travesty of Mikey Cardinal Ledeen has somehow forgotten who the enemies and friends of the GD™ Folk [1a] are, and must start from scratch to russle ’em up some new ones. [2] How well adapted to that end, in your opinion, Dr. Bones, would be the agitational-propagandistic modus operandi that His Eminence here deploys in "preachin’ to the choir"?

Whether you care to play my parlour game or not, Dr. Bones, please make a memorandumb [3] of this Binledeenian exuberance so we can find it later and use it against the kiddies.

Considered narrowly as choir-preachin’, "We are all Israëlis now" is a damp squib: the sweet birds of neosong would have been given the Frum’s rush [http://j.mp/9a9K9M] out of the Neotemple the instant they were detected to be anythin’ but.

Tthe Cardinal Auxiliary of Jehádkarírestán in partibus infidelium must, one presumes [3], intend His Eminence’s choristers to march forth and proclaim the Neogospel Accordin’ to Mikey unto benighted heathens and perverted heretics proper.

What makes this item memorandumb fodder, Dr. Bones, is how extremely perspicuous His Eminence makes the underlyin’ Common Terror magazine shtyk, which consists in Castle Podhóretz (or other competent neoäuthority) issuin’ a Woodrovian declaration of "War against war." Needless to say, it was THEM that started it, commenced a

"war of awesome dimensions, a war with a long and bloody history [that] is not the consequence of this or that unpopular policy but above all of beliefs we are not even supposed to pronounce nowadays, the crazed visions of Muslim extremists who are waging jihad against us. And [a war that is the consequence of] the beliefs of radical secular extremists who share the goals of jihad. That war is being waged by people who hate America and Israel, as they hate Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddhists, and those many Muslims who want to live in peace."

Lots and lots of neodingalingism crammed into very few words -- ninety-one, I make it -- that is, Dr. Bones, and therefore memorandumb-worthy to the max.

To be sure, nothin’ human, except of course the GD Folk™, can achieve perfection. Mikey Cardinal Bin Ledeen has not provided us a sort of handy-dandy CliffsNotes™ edition of "Rupert’s List," that conjectural omniumgatherum of all the scattered enemies lists held at Hooverville and Rio Limbaugh and Castle Podhóretz and Port Ste Lucie and Pajama Junction, indeed, anywhere at all in Foxcuckooland from sea to whinin’ sea.

Notably absent are (1) the "Smash Capitalism!" contingent (unless His Eminence’s little word ‘radical’ is read far stronger than I think it can bear), and (2) environmental whackos,


*** CODETTA ***



"war of awesome dimensions, a war with a long and bloody history [that] is not the consequence of this or that unpopular policy but above all of beliefs we are not even supposed to pronounce nowadays, the crazed visions of Muslim extremists who are waging jihad against us. And [a war that is the consequence of] the beliefs of radical secular extremists who share the goals of jihad. That war is being waged by people who hate America and Israel, as they hate Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddhists, and those many Muslims who want to live in peace."

I wish you, sir,
Healthy and affordable days

____
[0] Not "the first day of the rest of His Eminence’s life" as the vulgarism runs, but Day One simpliciter, the entire space between the ears of His Eminence contain’ nothin’ but hard vacuum, or call it tabula rasa.


[1] Paddy suggested the slogan ¡Hyperzion go bragh! at this juncture when we were confabulating this little fable. I had to point out to him with some asperity that, like most rules, the rule "A cat may look at a king" has the occasional probative exception, this exception, or one prominent exception, being obviously catus felix Kilarniensis.

[1a] A denier may deny, for the sake of argument or with gusto, that the Greatest Demographic™ is in fact so extraordinarly self-exceptional and self-indispensable and all-’round self-wunnerful as to be out of legitimate range of ALL the slings and arrows of us miserable Lesser Breeds Without, but that certainly does not mean than any Irish need apply as archers or peltasts.

Quelle idée!, like my great-great- ... -grandma used to mutter into her porridge in the Gaeilge, before the villagers lynched her for a witch.

As you and the Muses know, Dr. Bones, my favorite breed amongst the LBW to set up with dhimmian uppitiness against the GD Folk fanatics is the Bohemians, who call themselves ‘Czechs’, but thereby deceive nobody and haven’t for several centuries. Probably Herr Smetana [http://j.mp/bs84On] is the efficient cause of this McWhim: "Would you believe it, Princess, that shixy peasant had the gall to associate our tune with his vlast!"

Whimmed or whimless, I have never set foot nearer the place than Schneeburg (?) in Upper Bavaria, or for practical purposes, say Bayreuth BRG. A notorious hotbed of antimegistodemographical activities was that town, to be sure, when the Serene House of Wagner reigned. This is immaterial, however, because with Bohemia Bayreuth has nothing political to do and never did, beyond being Habsburg subjects.


[2] Like any good pscenario, this one is, I flatter myself, not entirely unconnected with the former Real World. For, in a certain sense, every snake-oil salesman and agitprop artiste that ever lived has been in the situation I conjure up for my pseudo-Mikey. As regards the "swing vote," I mean, those who have not yet taken any definite position on the merits and drawbacks of hula hoops, or Shock-an’-Awe (®), or le surchauvinisme hebraïque, or pet rocks, or . . . -- whatever product or ideoproduct the flogger may be trying to flog.

The analogy is imperfect, I admit, because Team Jabotinsky and the Hyperzionism product have been around since, at very latest, shortly after the war of A. R. 1387/1967/5726, twoscore and two (solar) years ago. His Eminence is bound to be especially concerned with official State enmities and friendships and neutralities and idiocies and utilities, and one can scarcely imagine any foreign ministry on G*re’s green earth where the statespersons have simply never heard of Hyperzionism the way Cindy from Wasilla has (almost certainly) never heard of the blessèd and meaningless hula hoop [http://j.mp/aubixm].


[3] To give you a head start, here’s ... Mikey: http://j.mp/9mGUo4

That is the pajamatarian neopost, but who cares? The PJM title of the thing is right there inside it, even if Mikey called it somethin’ different chez soi.

And by the way, the former chez soi seems to redirect straight to Mikey’s latest pair of pajamas in any case.

"Creativity and Destruction in all about I see / Father Zeus, Who wingnuts not, / Abide with me!"


[4] One may be presuming temerariously, however, for it is not impossible that His Eminence intended no more than to warm up the water a little in that bath of self-wunnerfulness in which his immediate auditors incorrigibly wallow: "O nos felices, who alone actually realize that ‘we’ "are all Israelis now."

A wonderer may wonder, after all, whether Neocomradess Ch. Little entirely likes the idea that others should detect the imminence of skyfall with her own eagle eye and squawk against it with equal volume. Or whether the hack pols and violence pros of the Tel ’Avîv statelet would rejoice singleheartedly and without mental reservation to discover three or four additional and undeniable ‘democracies’ scattered around the neo-Levantine landscape.

Grand Ayatollah Mikey Bin Ledeen bein’ what His Eminence is, the only complete certainty hereabouts is that H. E. would dearly love to see somebody bomb the evil Qommies back into the Stone Age. To "wipe them off the map," you might say, even.


13 April 2010

Ray Takieh and the Space Invaders



Dear Dr. Bones,

Prescinding from the neo-Levantine politics, wasn‘t that a swell show? [0]

Neocomradess (Fourth Class) R. Solowitz of Boston MA and Masada NL makes for fine entertainment, there can be no doubt at all about it, sir!

Dr. Takieh gets completely eclipsed by the e-Delilah with her Dance of the Seven Veils [1]. That eclipse may even have been a (very) small part of what the producers and directors of the performance intended it to accomplish, although strictly speaking a critic must be only guessing when she takes the on-stage persona "R. T." to be an allusiom to poor Ray.

Ms. Critic must decide for herself, exactly as the slaves of Rupert, Lord Foxcuckoo, keep insistin’ every time we turn on WRKO AM 680 Boston. While she is making up her mind, though, allow me to remind you, Dr. Bones, that we knew poor Ray back when he was only "an Iranian-American Middle East scholar, former United States Department of State official and Senior Fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations." [2]

Back about breakfast time yesterday, that was. Time sure flies when you are having fun, does it not? Golly!

As I was saying, it is clear enough for Fedguv work that the customer or patient was intended to take "R. T." for Ray Takieh, even though only patients or customers who never heard of the latter can be duped. In context, this point is quite unimportant. The producers and directors of "Rebecca Solowitz" are not really referrin’ to poor Ray in any case, but rather to a previous account of him provided by the management and staff of Planet Justworld, "... nonsensical claim ... gross errors of fact ... extremely tortured ‘reasoning’ ... a very dangerous argument ... bizarre ..." and so on and so forth. You know the drill, Dr. Bones.

Though the Muses and you and I know it well, perhaps we should explain it a little for "those of you at Rio" Limbaugh. The Justworldian account made the literary mistake [3] of telling the reader directly that the villain is a very bad man instead of showing him acting badly. I guess the offender would plead that a link to the URL of bad action was provided. And I guess that there is at least a little something to be said for that notion. But not a great deal, especially not when a little scrap of the supposed badness is in fact provided, and then the lady says, in effect, "Kindly allow me to know best!" Know, that is, that it is ‘nonsensical’ to ‘claim’ that

The notion that the incumbent Arab regimes are reluctant to collaborate with the United States on Iran because of the prevailing impasse in the peace process is a misreading of regional realities.

That unilateral and preëmptive critical aggression won’t do. Poor Ray may be dead wrong, but he is not the least bit nonsensical. Nonsensical would be if he had declared the notion in question to be, say, "a runcible spoon" or, with a different flavour of nonsense, "a round square."

(( It would trespass into talking politics to wonder whether the notion is or is not a misreading, so only inside parentheses dare I editorialize that Dr. Takieh may well be more or less right. ))

On the literary front, though, the upshot is that the customer is being hornswoggled into supposing that Gen. Mubárak and les altesses royales du Ryadh and the rest of the usual crew of heroes really DO put Palestine first. The literary objection to the attempted hornswogglement is not crudely that it ain’t so, but rather that it is not discussed, that the matter is not presented as being discussable. Everybody who is anybody must see that poor Ray might as well be telling us that twice two is five. Period.

Let us have a little argumentum ad verecundiam, Dr. Bones, just to wind things up with, like:

What shocks me is his instantaneous assumption that the question is so simple that there could be no real hesitation about it. It is breaking Aristotle’s canon--to demand in every enquiry that degree of certainty which the subject matter allows. And not on your life to pretend that you see farther than you do.

Naturally to appeal to the Master in that fashion presupposes that it is ‘enquiry’ that one is engaged in, as opposed to, say, agitation-and-propaganda or spectacle. The producers and directors of "Rebecca Solowitz" are spectaclemongers, their "T. R." a phantom fit only for the Yoo Toob, a straw dog that is scarcely even seriously feigned to resemble its supposed original, bein’ obviously trotted out only in order to be rude about somebody else.

The nonsensical and grossly erroneous and bizarrely dangerous (&c.) Dr. Ray Takieh looks a lot like another straw dog to me, and therefore like a tip-off that whatever may have been going on when it was sighted, ‘enquiry’ was not the name for it.

Mais que sçay-je?

Healthy days.

___
[0] So you see, sir, I am NOT the only geezer left who still remembers swellness.


[1] Yes, of course I realize there were only six veils: have you never heard of bloggherary license, sir? I accomodate my facts to a vulgar cliché, as any sensible rhetor would. Give me a break.


[2] Whoever "R.T." may be, if anybody at all, the learnèd elders of Wiki are undoubtedly talking about the same "Ray Takeyh, PhD (born 1966)" to whom the Muses and you and I have been previously introduced.

The article seems harmless enough. I was unaware of "a doctorate from St Antony‘s College, University of (sic) Oxford, in 1997," though, a detail which further lessens the likeness to "R.T." Miss Delilah’s producers and directors presumably missed it as well, St. Anthony’s being to the jihád careerist what Hell is to person of religionism. Here is a short list of fiends and demons.


[3] By low terrestrial standards, this is undoubtedly a literary mistake, though perhaps Planet Justworld is altogether "a foreign country where they do things differently"? Father Zeus knows best.

Be that as it may, we are not cheating when we judge such a product by our own standards rather than attempt to divine how the vendor would prefer his wares to be evaluated. If the human race at large had been silly enough to adopt the latter course, Madison Avenue would have gobbled us all up long ago.

10 April 2010

Ardor-Motivated



Dear Dr. Bones,

As long as the Old Sinner is up repenting and amending and rewording anyway, perhaps he would consider a little reordering as well?

First thing I thought, looking at the title before reading the article, was, "But surely the O. S. has got it backwards?"

So, then, how about this?

‘Conservative’ Hatred of Arabs Motivated by Ardour for Israël!

Hmm.

Looking at it done my way, I must pronounce that way to be not infallibly sinfree either, even after disallowing weekly standardisers and Common Terror magazine groupies to pass themselves off as the Little Friends of Eddie Burke, LLC. [1]

Things look a little more complicated still, as is often the case in and around the neo-Levant. There is another factor involved here that has to be reckoned with, though doing so produces something that would be grotesque as a headline:

Hyperzionists’ Ardour for Israël Motivates Hatred of Arabs among ‘Conservative’ Non-Jews!

Probably ‘incites’ is the better verb in a case where the motivators are different from the motivated. On the other hand, that language could make it sound almost as if somebody were committing a (hate) crime here. Far be it from!

After that much revision, who will be surprised if Mr. Rosenberg wants to have nothing to do with his own verbal baby?

Indeed, it really is not his baby any more, for what I have just done amounts to changing the subject from (part of) what it is about Commonterrorists that annoys him to (part of) what it is about them that annoys you and me. And these are mostly not the same things, or parts of things. [2]

Up to a point, they *cannot* be the same things, for you and Paddy and I can no more be "self-hating Jews" than Mr. Rosenberg could plausibly set up as Voice of the Shanty Irish. A great deal of the public misbehaviour by Commonterrorists must be almost a personal embarrassment to him. Whereas we are lucky enough to be saddled with nothing much worse than Miss Piggy Noonan over at the Wall Street Jingo.

Truly, sir, our yoke is easy and our burden light!

Healthy days.


___
[1] It is silly game indeed to guess what so-and-so would have said, were he still alive. But don’t you think it at least *posssible*, Dr. Bones, that Mr. Burke might have seen V. Ye. Zhabotínsky [http://tinyurl.com/y36wmz5] , say, or, M. le géneral du Sharon, or ... as, well, as Warren Hastings Writ Large?

I guess the Commonterrorist response to such an affront would be to ask me whether I suppose their ideopal Eddie wanted to hand central North America back to the Iroquois and the Algonquin and the Massachusetts. There is, of course, no sign that Eddie did, despite having been alive at a time when the pertinent facts were available to him.

But at that juncture things would begin to get complicated, for Mr. Burke almost certainly would have thought it pertinent to point out that the East Indians had Sanskrit, whereas the Algonquins had to make do with only Algonquin. Unwritten Algonquin, too!

At which point Commonterrorists would (I guess) have to protest that in 1431/2010/5770 they certainly do not hate the Natives of the neo-Levantine for being woad-painted savages! ... "Though, by the way, did you know that more books have been written and published in Estonian in the last six months alone than have appeared in Arabic in the last three centuries?" (Or whatever -- I misquote from memory.)



[2] One problem with any scribble of the present sort is the risk of giving pointers to the abusers of the world. Still, facts are facts, and it is really is a fact, is it not?, that the biggest problem Hasbara GHQ faces is gettin’ the *commonality* of their neoterrorisin’ exactly right.

The Old Sinner’s own self-correction illustrates what I mean from the flip side. If Castle Podhóretz were addressin’ its agitation and propaganda exclusively to dhimmís like you and me, then definitely ‘Muslims’ rather than ‘Arabs’ ought to appear at the top of their hatelist. If only to their own coreligionists, pious or nominal, then definitely ‘Arabs’ rather than ‘Muslims’ -- though with perhaps a tacit hope that the dupes and marks will forget that the evil Qommies are not Arabs.

But how shall Commonterrorism broadcast to both audiences simultaneously?

Not an easy question! though I probably wouldn’t tell them the answer even if it were.

We can watch ’em tryin’ to cope, though, Dr. Bones. It looks to me as if they waver back and forth between (1) hopin‘ -- surely a bit desperately? -- that hardly anybody dupable makes the Arab/Muslim distinction, or at least that no great importance is attached to so techical a pettifoggery out in Televisionland, and (2) resortin’ to much vaguer language altogether, ‘radical’ and ‘militant’ and ‘extremist’ and -- in first place, naturally -- ‘terrorist’.

Hasbara GHQ and Castle Podhóretz and the jihád careerist community have it easiest when they can borrow straight from the obvious Enemy. If M. Bin Ládin and Dr. Zawáhirí have already lumped together a "World Islamic Front for Jihád against Jews and Crusaders," why should Neocomrade Amb. M. B. Oren or Neocomrade Dr. D. R. Pipes, ’71, or Bob Cardinal Spencer do more than provide their more wombschooled customers with carefully selected titbits about what happened in the brand-name Crusades?

09 April 2010

TPM Café (09 April 2010)

Dear Dr. Bones,

What is the point of signing up for a Ludicrosity Competition? The pig usually wins, and, win or lose, she is *always* going to enjoy it more.

Bint Kh’zîr does put up a remarkable show of un- or anti-erudition with her ‘Quatab’ and her "zionist America circa 1950" [1] Indeed, the show is so remarkable that one is tempted to worry that it may be precisely that -- a performance deliberately staged, as if by one of Dr. Screwtape’s little military friends [2].

Nevertheless, a retaliation such as
Never across the past thousand years of European history has oppression and killing of Jews due to anti-Semitism been more rare than during the past fifty years
won’t do at all. Though the sentence is ludicrous enough to be getting on with, the subject-matter with which it trifles is too grave for trifling.

Moreover, Jewish Statism -- and militant extremist Hyperzionism to boot, as witness the late M. de Jabotinsky, http://tinyurl.com/y8wefwh -- goes back a good deal farther in Old Europe than "fifty years." Quite a lot of the Palestine Puzzle as we know it would look more or less the same even if Auschwitz and a’ that had never come to pass. [3]

If one puts one mind to it a little, Bint Kh’zîr can be taken seriously. Imagine that Hasbara GHQ is deployin’ her with a new secret weapon that works by lurin’ the unwary dhimmí into at least the appearance of an admission that Médînat Yisrá’él possesses some special ‘need’ [4] to exist that nobody sane would ever dream to demand from, or grant to, the Czech Republic, or the Estado Plurinacional de Bolivia, or any other nation-state or -statelet that obviously "just happens" to exist by gracious permission of Time and Tyche. [5]

Regardless of anythin’ B. Kh. in particular is or isn’t up to, such appears to be the T. A. government’s grand agitprop strategy, which I take to be twofold:

(1) the ’dhimmí’s are to be seduced into accepting that M. Y. has "a right to exist as a Jewish State" in some sense not one-tenth as ludicrous as the Czech Republic’s claiming "the right to exist as a Bohemian State" would be. [6]

(2) And then there will never, ever, be any satisfactory elucidation from the direction of T. A. as to exactly what this supposed right comprises. Apart, that is, from its bein’ -- obviously! -- incompatible with any and all offers of peace or ‘peace’ or hudna or whatever from the Natives, for this perpetual incompatibility is the object of the whole exercise. Q.E.D.

It really IS pretty neoclever of them, Dr. Bones, is it not? If there is a weak point, I guess it would be that such a plan can never be frankly admitted without self-destructing on the spot.

Oh, well: no silver lining without a cloud!

Healthy days.

’’’
[1] That lower-case ‘Z’ is a small masterpiece itself. If it happened on Purpose, that is.

The mysterious Monsieur de Qu. almost certainly has at least a little something to do with http://tinyurl.com/ydafh9m . But Father Zeus knows best.


[2] "No doubt you have often practiced transforming yourself into an angel of light as a parade-ground exercise. Now is the time to do it in the face of the Enemy." &c. &c. [ http://tinyurl.com/yba4uq5 ]

Maybe it is a bit paranoid or narcissistic, though, to suppose that Hasbara GHQ has to take TPM Café seriously and send out somebody competent. Mr. Rosenberg they can e-bomb over on J Street, after all, and other than that, why should they bother?


[3] This analysis cuts both ways even-handedly, I believe, inasmuch as the Natives and their apologists often give the impression that the Tel ’Avîv statelet has been gratuitously inflicted upon them by Europe and America solely as a cheap or free form of misdirected reparations for what Germany did in 1933-1945. (( Talk about ‘ludicrous’! ))


[4] Mr. Poster says "Therefore, employing davidai66's form of logic, it is 'ludicrous' to think that now in our period is when Jews of European origin really NEED to have their own special state in the Mideast."


[5] ’Cf.’ http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolivia . Also http://tinyurl.com/z2j4h, but only if you absolutely *must*.


[6] There is nothing particularly self-exceptional or self-indispensible about the Prague government apart from the linguistic accident that English happens to have both ‘Czech’ and ‘Bohemian’ -- which is a fact about us, plainly, and nothing to do with them.

Culture vultures will know at least the Bohemian seacoast of http://tinyurl.com/ycrzg3a . But that, too, is of zero *political* relevance.