More specifically, McClatchy and McClatchy’s Fadel have gone around the bend and out of sight about the Diyálae Affair, which I shall henceforth punctuate that way so as to remind thee and the Muses of M. Dreyfus. What does one say about a news story that starts off as follows?
| Key U.S. Iraq strategy in danger of collapse Leila Fadel | McClatchy Newspapers last updated: August 20, 2008 06:31:07 PM BAGHDAD — A key pillar of the U.S. strategy to pacify Iraq is in danger of collapsing because the Iraqi government is failing to absorb tens of thousands of former Sunni Muslim insurgents who'd joined U.S.-allied militia groups into the country's security forces. American officials have credited the militias, known as the Sons of Iraq or Awakening councils, with undercutting support for the group al Qaida in Iraq and bringing peace to large swaths of the country, . . . |
. . . and off she goes!
What does one say? Not a hard question. One says, "Why was that twistification not marked as an editorial?" Only a thoroughly ideologated goofball could seriously suppose that the ‘collapse’ of a whole system of neocolonial occupational therapy should be presented as if it were a new bridge felled by an engineering mistake.
Having got the main point off one’s chest, one may attend to the tale rather than the title, and wonder what the corporate media fiends think they are doing, exactly. What is Diyálae to them, or they to Diyálae? At that point one reads the twistatorial through and discovers that the D-place is not so much as mentioned in it. Curiouser and curioser; not only feverish, but cryptofeverish are the Banát McClatchy! [1]
Perhaps the best clue to this ‘professional’ misbehaviour [2] begins with the seventh microparagraph from the end. Repunctuated for grown-ups, here it comes:
| Colin Kahl, a senior fellow at the Center for a New American Security, a centrist policy institute in Washington, who recently visited Iraq, said the dispute over the militias could set the stage for a return of widespread bloodshed, particularly because the Maliki government seemed intent on thwarting the plan. He noted that of the militia members slated to join the security forces, only 600 have completed the required training. Of those, most are Shiites. Kahl, who spoke with senior U.S. officials during his visit to Iraq, said that the Iraqi government was providing jobs to the militia members in "humiliating ways." He said former Iraqi army officers were being absorbed as low-level beat cops, and men who saw themselves as the "slayers of al Qaida" were being asked to become plumbers and bricklayers. "The last time we humiliated thousands of these guys is back in 2003, and we got the insurgency," Kahl said. |
It can’t do much harm to accuracy if we simply suppose that L. Fádil has been good enough to allow C. Kahl to borrow her corporation’s keyboard -- with or without her own private brain tossed in -- temporarily. The thesis being twistified for by her whole scribble is stated plainly there and expressly attributed to Kahl of CNAS. To state it a bit more ab externo: poor M. al-Málikí is headed straight for the Dustbin of History® if he does not quickly join Prof. Colin Kahl of CNAS, and Dr. Gen. David Petraeus of Princeton and West Point, and Proconsul R. Crockerius of Kennebunkport-Crawford, and Mlle. Sappy Conventionalis (of ubiquitous provenance) aboard the Bribe-a-Tribe™ Express. Should it depart the station without him, Núrí Kamál is doomed indeed!
Considering that every dove and every hawk with even a slight trace of lemming blood in her veins seems to agree with that mistake already, ‘feverish’ probably will not do. Yet Señor Kahlfeidal (so to christen the consensus errantium) does seem to think the Bribe-a-Tribe™ Express situation is somehow more urgent than it was last month or a year ago or back when they originally aggressed.
I guess the fuss and feavers must be mainly about the cowpokers down at the ranch, who have indeed not been particularly eager to kick poor M. al-Málikí in the head so as to insure that he does the right thing. [3] The GOP geniuses are not, to put it mildly, used to bein’ successful in their colonial policies. Now that poor M. al-Málikí has managed to set up as the Hannibal of Da‘wa without instantly getting hooted off the stage, the geniuses are perhaps a bit reluctant to interfere with such scanty helpin’s of Success and Victory as have come Team Aggression’s way merely because NKaM may possibly be succeeding and triumphing off in slightly the wrong direction. What I have insolently referred to as "a kick in the head" may appear to the exponents of Big Management as a comparatively minor in-course flight correction that can be made at any time.
There is no sign (known to me) that the Harvard Victory School MBA classes have reconsidered their underlyin’ strategy for the bushogenic quagmire. They still agree with Miss Sappy that the Arabophone Sunní theocommunity must be specially pandered to, that the spurned and slighted TwentyPercenters must be slathered and inundated with Affirmative Action™. However, now that their poor M. al-Málikí does appear to be making a certain amount of progress on other fronts, they do not see any reason to be in a great hurry to kick his head about Sunní-panderin’. If Charlie McCarthy was to get really annoyed about being pestered about Bribe-a-Tribe™ all the time, he could mess up the AEI-GOP-DoD-USIP act pretty seriously. Remember the SOFA!
Señor Kahlfeidal may or may not realize as much. I. e., McClatchy and the New Securitarians are quite capable of egging on a quarrel between the ventriloquists and their native not-so-dummy in order to make AEI and GOP look bad, maybe so bad that they lose control of both DoD and of colonial policy next November. Whether that is what Señor Kahlfeidal is really doing, I dunno. It is clear, though, that he thoroughly believes in Sunní-pandering. For somebody like me, who have not the honour to agree with the consensus errantium and expect only more trouble from Sunní-pandering in general and from those ever-receding provincial elections more specifically, the question of who is to impose, and afterwards take credit for, a misconceived finagle that is not going to work anyway cannot seem urgently important.
The sewer of error does not encompass absolutely everybody, of course. At Mu’ámara Junction, the goofballs will ferociously reject the idea that the TwentyPercenters require to be pandered to. As thee knows, Mr. Bones, the (saving remnant of the) TwentyPercenters are going to be in complete military control of the whole shebang by the end of next month. There is no reason for those all-but-conquering heroes to make concessions to anybody whatsoever. Once they take over, the innocent will have nothing to fear -- ‘innocence’ meaning, of course, a devout attachment to the dogmas of pro-Sunní watan-nationalistic antisectarianism. (What else could the word ‘innocence’ possibly mean, and especially in Arabic? I ask thee, O Bones!)
"Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! / And they all sang a song."
"Freedom means peace."
Best Wishes for a happy and edifyin’ SillySeason to all!
Yours as ever,
McRawk
___
[1] Dr. Virtue will be gratified that the culprits persist in hushing up the name and the very existence of M. Ghánim al-Qurayshí.
[2] As the Bulgarian proverb doesn’t exactly have it, "The chicken is not a bird. Russia is not a foreign country. Journalism is not the name of a profession."
[3] Still, they might at least leave Little Brother alone till after Labour Day. It’s not as if publicists and PowerPointe®s never take vacations! Plus the laddie is no doubt deeply engrossed at the moment in tryin’ to figure out how to save M. Saakashvili from the evil neo-Coms. Also in how to save J. Sidney McCain from the hordes of O’Bama.
Last time George XLIII distinctly attended to the former Iraq, it was lookin’ pretty good, wunnit? (From the AEI-GOP-DoD-USIP perspective, that is, naturally.) How can Mission Rea©©omplished go all to pieces again in ten minutes as soon as he turns his back to sneak a figurative smoke?
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