The Christian Zionist Unmasked

"The president was himself, finally. Maybe because this is the end of his political career," said Ghassan Khatib, a former Palestinian Cabinet minister and now a lecturer at Birzeit University. "This is actually him. This is George Bush the human being, not the politician. . . . I always thought he was a Christian Zionist and a fundamentalist ideologue."

Inside their dream-and-mortar palaces, Arabophony OnePercenters like M. Khatíb say a lot of funny things, Mr. Bones. Most of their sayings are more remote from the crude sentiments of street Arabs than this one. Caveámus ígitur.

It would not be wise to buy any political used cars from such a shark merely because of that handwritten note on the windshield proclaiming "I always thought." If you looked sufficiently like hoi polloi to him, I daresay M. Khatíb and his ilk would have been willing to share their -- their "deep-felt but rarely uttered personal" -- reservations about the Little Brother of Big Management with you at any moment since you and they first learned enough about the Yalie lad to badmouth him.

What the collaborationist ilk murmur to one another inside their Alhambras and Zisas and World Economic Forums in the Egyptian resort of Sharm el Sheik is vastly more to the point, unless they have managed to get so totally out of synch with their own subjects that they begin to fear the Dread Curse of the Pahlavids. Ninety-nine percent of the time, however, the Palace Arabs are not only subjectively fearless but objectively secure, both on their home front and on their Holy-Homeland front. Like right now, for example. If collaborationism in the Levant has anything serious to worry about at the moment, I can not off-hand think what it is. [1]

"Maybe because this is the end of" Little Brother’s "political career," M. Khatíb runs no risk at all when he amuses himself by amusing (?) his street Arabs with "Christian Zionists" as a monicker for his own fundie ideobuddies. Bow-wow; arf-arf; GRRRRR! Marg bar Elmer Gantry!

Can M. Khatíb seriously believe that motives of Enthusiasm and/or Superstition impelled Little Brother to burble such euphonious bulbulshit to the assembled OnePercenters?

I strongly believe that if leaders like those of you in this room act with vision and resolve, the first half of 21st century can be the time when similar advances reach the Middle East. This region is home to energetic people, a powerful spirit of enterprise, and tremendous resources. It is capable of a very bright future -- a future in which the Middle East is a place of innovation and discovery, driven by free men and women.

"Christian Zionism," forsooth! It has always been obvious enough that Little Brother serves Lord Mammon first, and serves Lord Mammon second, and then perhaps he serves King Caesar as revealed to St. John of Yoo a little on occasion. [2] Anythin’ "ideological" about the godless Busheviki beyond that is out of the money altogether. The oration well reflects the authentic sentiments of the militant extremist Republican Party. It would only be ridiculous to complain "Bush lied!" about that performance, sir.

The good news is that M. Khatíb, and hopefully the rest of his ilk, are not at all likely to start actin’ with vision and resolve of the Mammono-Caesarian brand that the ghostwriters of Rancho Crawford so eloquently summon them to.[3] They have plenty to do already, what with (1) just keepin’ themselves personally on top inside their palaces and then (2) keepin’ the mean streets in subordination to the dreamy palaces. Arabophony OnePercenters are, as I said, snug as a bug in a rug, about as safe as safe can be for mortals -- but that does not mean they have a great deal of energy to spare for ill-judged and far-flung Kiddie Krusades or Wars on Global Tourism.


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[1] The dreamy ilk may conceivably find B. Hussein Obáma a little bit alarming, merely because they know nothing of him. Considering that President Presumptive J. Sidney McCain is the one who will make it to the top of the greasy pole, thee and I may laugh at such groundless concerns.

Like everybody else, M. Khatíb ought to be alarmed about the JSM menace to Global Stability: a dumb Mugwump might do pretty well anythin’. There are simply no precedents for J. Sidney, not in all the annals of the Party of Atwater. Yet ’twere pointless to try to explain that to a Little Foreign Friend of Global Stability who would not know a mugwump from a curmudgeon at ten paces and may not even be quite sure who Señorito Lee Atwater used to be.


[2] Scilicet, George XLIII serves George XLIII. "Richard loves Richard; that is, I am I."

My suggested formula -- 95% Mammonolatry plus 5% Yoosurpation -- might for convenience be identified with the Big Managerialism of Harvard Victory School MBA’s, even though the latter is a rather broad range of related products that happens to include the Christian Zionism of Little Brother.

Any connection with, or even resemblance to, the former Christojudaeanity is of course entirely accidental.


[3] Not to lay too much stress on the eloquence, though. It looks as if the better quality hired help has already drifted off to fresh woods and pastures new in light of "the end of his political career." Fortunately the same address, in all essentials, has already been delivered at approximately 145,709,318.072 after-dinner meetin’s of the Chamber of Commerce all across the holy Homeland since 1865, so it has been polished up pretty spiffy by now.