The party of Gen. Jackson and thee and me has a few señoritos of our own to endure, and here comes Comrade J. Chait of the Formerly New Republic to remind everybody political about the epidemiology of Original Sin:
| The best aspect of a McCain presidency is that, while it would probably follow the policies of George W. Bush, it would ________________ . |
After a ‘while’ like that, what could anybody fill in the blank with so that, on balance, the sentence works out in the Flyboy Hero's favor? Do all the same brain-dead OnePercenterly things as George XLIII, but do them for some quite different reason? Who on Gore’s green earth would want to order that?
We’ll get to what Master Jonathan filled his own blankness up with shortly, but before that, let us discuss whether or not his sentence inadvertently furnishes us with the Platonic Form of Señoritoïsm, or at least a frame that all young-fogeyism fits into comfy. "Setting aside substance," the little laddie begins to orate, headed towards some such eventual bottom line as "And that is why I still kinda like J. Sidney McCain." [1]
Of course a señorito who took substance into reverential account would not be a señorito at all, unless by chance purely chronologically. But two quite different things might be going on when one hears an op-ed noisemaker begin by despising substance. She could be Beau Brummel, dancing a fandango on the grave of substance to honour the Golden Calf of Style. That, and that alone, is the wahre Señoritoismus. On the other hand, she could, in theory, be a sound Peripatetic who wishes to clear Matter out of the way as a preliminary to edifying and philosophical meditations upon Form. Given that it is the silly season at the moment, and given what we know already about J. Chait and the Formerly New Republic [2], the odds are stacked heavily in M. Brummel's favour, but we do not know absolutely for sure, now, do we?
Master Jonathan is resolved to sound frivolous, "[T]he upside to a candidate who changes his philosophical orientation as often as McCain is that he could always switch back." On the other hand, maybe that crack is not so frivolous, but reflects a deep contempt for all philosophical orientations? But then on the third tentacle, is not such contempt itself a manifestation of the Higher Frivolity? Read the whole thing through, Mr. Bones, and assess for yourself. My own impression is that this laddie really and truly does not give a hoot what the Commanderissimo Presumptive may do after he takes the helm. That attitude is only about 95% frivolous and señoritoly, the odd five percent consisting of a patriotic assurance that Uncle Sam has nowadays become so secure that even a decerebrated Mugwump cannot do any damage of significance.
And maybe that odd 5% is the proper attitude to adopt? I should consider it myself if nothing beyond the affairs of our holy Homeland mattered to me. Anybody who cares even a little bit about the Lesser Breeds Without, though, would be foolish to "still kinda like John McCain." Unsurprisingly, Master Jonathan has not a single word here about foreign and aggression policy. To give the Cap’n himself due justice, his shameless Horace Greeley ego-trippin’ never took him abroad (that I recall) until he started croonin’ about a new Preëmptive Retaliation™ adventure that would co-star the Islamic Republic. [2]
___
[1] What I just quoted, sorta, is the subtitle of the scribble, probably supplied by some editor from amongst the Baní Peretz and perhaps misrepresenting the nonsense of the actual scribbler.
Jonathan himself splashes down as follows:
| The idea that McCain could establish a reputation as a maverick by standing up to his party on numerous issues, win back his party's support by abandoning nearly all his heterodoxies, then prevail by portraying himself as an unwavering man of principle is nauseating. Yet somehow the idea of a McCain presidency itself doesn't terrify me. What can I say? Bush has lowered my standards. |
[2] Background information admits a (very remote) third possibility about what Jonathan is up to here. Suppose the full monnicker is "Jonathan Chait Wannabe-Swift" and that JCW-S is elegantly spoofing Sheikh Al-Peretz, husband to the proprietoress of the Formerly New Republic, and surely the only member of the Confraternity of St. Joseph Lieberman with an occasional good word to emit about B. Hussein Obáma. M. von Al-Peretz is, as often, positively beggin’ to be mocked; one striking way to gratify the wish would be to pose as the Boss's mirror image, as a Peretzoid ‘supporter’ of Cap’n M’Cain.
In favor of the hypothesis is that Master Jonathan does not plan to actually tug a lever for JSM -- "I'd vote for an obnoxious, pampered phony who shared my beliefs over a charming war hero who didn't" -- just as Mynheer Martin van Peretz will not be votin’ for BHO. (Unfortunately, background information about JC reveals that he is no Dean Swift.)
[3] A Formerly-New Republican like Señorito Chait may consider that JSM crooned wisely and well on that topic. I have in fact no idea whether he agrees or disagrees with Sheik Al-Peretz about Hyperzionism and all that jazz. It would be easy to find out, I daresay, but who cares? Master Jonathan Chait's views on policy are not worth learning; whatever he is, there are zillions interchangeably like him.
He might have been a contributor, though, if he had used this opportunity to explain psychologically why he is a sucker for Mugwumps. He does nothing of the sort, beyond making it clear that he always enjoys watching the show when a militant extremist Republican decides to bite the Invisible Hand. Thee and I like that spectacle too, of course, without having ten seconds’ patience with Cap’n M’Cain’s contemptible moral striptease.
Though fun for a brief while, the Mugwump Circus gets tedious and even barf-inducin’ very fast. But cheer up, Mr. Bones! Hath not Holy Writ assured us that "Reformers [Are] Only Mornin’ Glories"?
Long live Afternoon!
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