was unmissable, it is the public calceatio of George XLIII Bush by a demented neo-subject, but even so, the intrepid and, so to say, eagle-eyed Miss Lynx noticed it and gave it to Mister Badger, who dipped it in that dam pond of ideology and factionalism that so graces Mu’ámara Junction BC before passing it on to the honourable and gallant Dr. Cartoonoclastes, local squire and muftí of the manse in those parts, who decided to deploy it in the Mu’ámariyya's interminable War Against Juan:
| The journalist who threw his shoes at Bush is Muntadhir al-Zeidi and he works for Baghdadiya TV. [Ellipsis the First] Juan Cole is not amused. He says, without citing any evidence, that the channel "supports the Sunni Arab insurgents fighting the Americans and the Maliki government". I thought he had switched to "Kutbist fundamentalists" for his main sectarian slur, but there you are. As it happens, Azzaman says the man works for several different TV stations, and hails from Sadr City. [Ellipsis the Second] [A]l-Zeidi in addition to the reported remarks, also said this: "This is from the widows, the orphans, and those who were killed in Iraq..." Obviously, as Cole says, a supporter of the "Sunni Arab insurgents". |
Actually Don Juan recovered from his Qutbist phase promptly, thank you, thought not to the point, I presume, of forgetting how to spell it.
Poor M. Muntazir al-Zaydí [1] will doubtless rot in some I. Z. pesthole of domestic rendition for the term of his natural life. Unless, that is, he is quickly released and returns to his native place through a specially manufactured breach in the walls whilst choruses of (decently draped) young damsels recite Pindar and al-Muntanabbí in his praise. Plus then free lunch at City Hall every day for the rest of his life -- I believe that is the standard accomodation in such case.
Meanwhile, a bit closer to home, thee should notice, Mr. Bones, how little it takes to set grumpy old Cartoono off into slurrin’ other folks as slurmongers. Take "supports the Sunni Arab insurgents fighting the Americans and the Maliki government." The Guru of Mu’ámara Junction is not primarily concerned to claim that Al-Baghdádiyya is not really like that [2], he is shocked to his innermost casablanca that anybody uses such language at all.
Not only is that a slur, it is a very special kind of slur. It is defamatio chartonoclastica, so to speak, a rare hot-house flower of the lower sub-Arctic. Juan the Wicked is "slurring" some poor newspaper proprietor for doing exactly what Miss Lynx and Mister Badger and Cartoono the Grump think everybody in the world ought to be doing, supporting "the [lacuna here] Arab insurgents fighting the Americans and the Maliki government." The slur consists entirely in noticing out loud that Al-Baghdádiyya is guilty of "supporting while Sunni."
Then, leaping straight to the counterslur, the honourable and learnèd (and Magnificent) Cartoono makes Juan the Wicked out an ignoramus who supposes that the preferred religionism of the Natural Masters of Mesopotamia is adhered to only by flat-out faith-crazies, Wahhábís and "Kutbists" and Mawdy-Doodies and what not. (Perhaps he should toss in "Assassins" from time to time and see if any of his dupes and marks call him on it? And there are also the "Wallace Fard Muhammad fundamentalists" to muck about with for counterslurry purposes.)
A very strange hot-house flower is the Mu’ámariyya, Mr. Bones. A sort of vicarious Erastianism, perhaps. But maybe I attempt to make the specimen out rarer and more precious than it really is? After all, M. le Président Saddám would have been almost as upset in his time as Miss Lynx and Mr. Badger and Dr. Cartoonoclastes are in ours to have his Natural Mastery of Mesopotamia confused with his private religionism. And more upset still, should it be linked with his communitarian religionism. Our gleeful threeful cannot possibly want the Ba‘th back as such, yet if they ever get what they crave, certain resemblances to the Good Old Days before wicked ‘sectarianism’ was imported under Sultan Jerry would recur. The Thought Police would consider it fort mauvais for any political dhimmí to claim that his status as a second-class subject of the Baghdád régime was connected with his not being an Orthodox Mussulman. Or an ethnographic Arab. Obviously, folks with jet black skins and Oklahoma City culture and the theology of Mary Baker Eddy can be just as first-class Natural Masters of Mesopotamia as anybody else. All they have to do is . . . .
... well, neither the Ba‘thí nor the cartoonoclastic positive theory of Virtuous Antisectarianism is familiar to me, so thee had better go google it up for theeself, Mr. Bones, exactly what it is that one has to do to satisfy the factionists and ideologues of Sunní Ascendancy, native and vicarious. Though perhaps we had better speak of [Lacuna] Ascendancy, sir, especially if we think we might want a visa someday. [3] BGKB.
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[1] The scrappy lad’s Christian name goes like the surname of the evil Qommie Ayatollah Montazerí. This coincidence may (or may not) indicate that shoe-thrower and turban-bearer are both awaiting the same One.
[2] Cartoono's defense of the Sunninterní fishwrap’s rigorously impartial and unsectarian devotion to the once and future Natural Masters of Mesopotamia is a joke. They can't spend every issue singing Pindar to their own shootists -- or even praising such lesser breeds as may occasionally abuse the Hannibal of Da‘wa for the inferior reasons of inferior persons.
[3] "[Lacuna] Ascendancy may typify the See-Might Mind™," she jested. "Notice how they all leave the vowels out all the time, and how one pack of See-Mights will never mention Father Zeus by name. Reducin’ other folks to a condition of abject dhimmitudo is the crux of See-Mightism, plainly: ‘Look on Our Might, ye dhimmies, and despair!’ Mme. Bint Yeor’s esoteric researches have revealed many dark corners of the See-Might Mind™, yet I believe she has never yet come to grips with [Lacuna] Ascendancy, despite inhabiting the Tel Aviv statelet where the thing exists in a state of near perfection. The dhimmies of the T.A. régime, Gentile Palestinians mostly, may say almost anything they like about their Natural (neo-natural?) Masters as long as they do not go on about [Lacuna]. Hyperzionizers may oppress their patients because of an innate libido dominandi, or because they are scared and therefore conductin’ a Long War against Global Tourism, or perhaps merely because See-Might might can not be properly seen unless somebody gets visibly oppressed. But one is not to mention [Lacuna] in this connection. Conversely, one is encouraged, if not absolutely compelled, to countenance the notion that anybody at all could become a first-class Israëli subject, provided she . . . .
". . . leaving that bit lacunose in prudent self-defense, we may notice that present-day [Lacuna] Ascendancy at Tel Aviv and its counterpart in the jolly old Baghdád of 1908-2003 are not simply interchangeable. If Dr. Cartoonoclastes was shilling for Hyperzion rather than for his present patrons, we would not, I think, be hearing about "wicked ‘sectarianism’" all the time. In the Tel Aviv statelet, "sectarians" means various harmless bands of East European weirdos who usually disapprove of the whole [Lacuna] Ascendancy shtyk from beginning to end. Sometimes we hear it worried about that they are becoming too important in politics, but not often, and nowadays less frequently than formerly. Gentiles are Gentiles, they are not ‘sectarians’ in the meaning of the Act. Turks and Brits and Mecca Monarchs and Free Officers and Ba‘thís would all have been delighted to have the ideological leverage that the notion of "Gentiles" makes available to the [Lacuna] Ascendancy in the State of Israël. But "life is unfair," and they just plain did not have it. Tough luck, guys!
"Finally," she jested in addition, "everybody knows that for one lone sub-Arctic hothouse of virtual and vicarious fans of the Baghdád [Lacuna] Ascendancy -- plus also Prof. Dr. Righteous Virue out there someplace in North Denmark, admittedly -- there are tens of thousands of Tel Aviv [Lacuna] Ascendancy fans, nines of thousads of them centered right here in our very own Heimatland Gottes. The vicars’ and volos’ efforts at Lacuna Enforcement are unrelentin’ and heroic. Though not always crowned with success, and of course not officially organised as a Denkpolizeiamt, these efforts are formidable indeed. Ask Prof. Mearsheimer and Mr. Walt to tell thee about it sometime, Mr. Bones."
(( Lady Pilate is not an absolutely reliable source, I fear, and in any case we have agreed that discussions of the Greater Levant in general and of the former al-‘Iráq in particular should not be held hostage to the Palestine Puzzle. A geopolitical dogma of Telavívestání Exceptionalism, so to call it, would be a hundred times better grounded than your run-of-the-mill Yankee homebrew counterpart is. Or, viewed from the Baghdád or International Zone end of the flight path, there is no reason why ‘Iráqí or post-‘Iráqí See-Mightism should specially resemble the See-Mightism of Jewish Statists.
(( The patrons that Cartoono shills for are also reminiscent of the late M. Slobodan Milosevic, whose credentials as an Indo-Germanic were, to the best of my knowledge, impeccable. A revived [Lacuna] Ascendancy at Baghdád would possess a ‘right’ to rule all of the former ex-‘Iráq (as it will then ipso facto be) pretty strictly analogous to Serbia's natural mastery of Kosova. The main ingredient in this mess of pottage is that Ms. Clio gets to trump almost any amount of degenerate modern nose-countin’. Since M. Milosevic's plans miscarried, one cannot be sure exactly what attitudes his Thought Police would have inculcated in the Kosovar dhimmies. On the whole, I don't think there would have been a [lacuna] about the fact that the latter are, and must forever remain, second-class Serbians because they are not Serbs -- ethnography pure and simple. The Balkans possessing perhaps even less éclaircissement than the Greater Levant, probably the Thought Police would have allowed their dhimmies to say what I just said, but knock them down if they "tried to make something of it." More or less the Ba‘thí plan, as far as the mere physical violence goes, but with much less mental wear and tear on the second-raters, who could quickly learn exactly what never to be caught saying out loud.
Should poor M. al-Málikí and the International Zone neorégime totter and fall, with a revived [Lacuna] Ascendancy acceptable to Messers Lynx and Badger and Cartoonoclastes and Virtue replacing it, the hillbilly dhimmies and the heretic dhimmies would be in tricky straits to navigate. They must not, of course, insinuate that there is anything the least bit ‘sectarian’ about their subjection to Natural Masters™, but exactly what expressions would the new Thought Police consider to so insinuate? Of all the words that twenty-four centuries of Pol. Sci. have made conceptual mud pies with, ‘nature’ and ‘natural’ take the cake. The patrons of Mu’ámara Junction very sincerely consider that an "al-‘Iráq" run by hillbillies and heretics is an affront to Ms. Nature, not really an al-‘Iráq at all. This view has the extraneous support of the militant extremist GOP, for to call anythin’ those stumblebums did or do or will do hereafter in ex-‘Iráq ‘natural’ would be absurd on its face. If alien aggression and intermeddlin’ be not artificial, nothing on Gore's green earth is artificial.
More distictly than Messers Lynx and Badger and Cartoonoclastes, Messer R. Virtue has made clear that he thinks the druthers that Prof. Dr. R. Virtue wants to see imposed on the former al-‘Iráq are exactly Ms. Nature’s own thoughts on the question.
And the moral of that, Mr. Bones, is that one can have a lofty IQ and a presentable PhD and still be a flaming jerk.
A seasonable moral for all seasons in itself, I trust, but at the moment I would have thee notice how ‘nature’ and ‘natural’ bring out the inner jerk in some folks. Who knows, maybe that was poor M. Muntazar al-Zaydí's problem? Throwin’ shoes at the nominal chief of the alien invasionite banditti who have wrecked one's country their way rather than one’s country’s own way can certainly be called "a natural reaction" -- unless I have forgotten my Chicagoland English altogether.
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