| Can Joe Wurzelbacher, Joe the Plumber from Ohio, change the course of this campaign? That's one question that was raised at the third presidential debate. Wurzelbacher is the man who, in a moment caught on YouTube, confronts Barack Obama on his plan to raise taxes on people like him. Obama, sotto voce, replies that he wants to "spread the wealth around." In the third consecutive week in which the headlines of the financial crisis have prompted both candidates to denounce "Wall Street greed," the image of those whom Obama would tax higher was suddenly not an investment banker but a plumber. |
Though "sotto voce" is the best tip-off that twistification in the path of Flyboy and Party and Ideology is in progress here, the part of the militant extremist iceberg lurkin’ under water and out of sight matters far more. Baron Mike of Murdochville wants it understood that all through the first two (‘consecutive’) weeks of Mortgagegate, the l*b*r*l j*ck*ss*s over in America's party were clamoring to lynch investment bankers. He wants that understood, but he does not venture to actually say it even under his voice, because (as I conjecture) he is well aware that he might be caught fibbin’ if he did say it. The way he conducts his suggestio falsi as regards "to denounce 'Wall Street greed'" can be recommended to apprentice rupertoids and amateur goebbelses without reservation.
Not quite so excellent, yet not bad at all, is the way in which this Machiavelli fallen amongst neocomrades copes with "those whom Obama would tax higher." Naturally it would not do for him to discuss details about the schemes for confiscation and larceny that the Senatorino has advanced. So naturally Baron Mike gives that patch a dab of suggestio falsi as well: the marks and dupes are to understand, without question or discussion, that citizen Von Wurtzelbacher would be sadly victimized by That One™. Would have been sadly victimized, I mean, of course, considering that Von Wurzelbacher will now be recycled forever in media circles familiar to Baron Mike himself, and never need to plumb again, unless it be for recreation.
This is not quite so excellent, falsesuggestionwise, because Baron Mike cannot hope that it will pass entirely unnoticed. How could it, when that is the end of the plunger that almost every liberal or Democratic publicist has chosen to pick this human event up by? "How much would Von Wurzelbacher have been robbed of by the Fedguv?" -- that is the question the headline crew like to raise, and plainly the question assumes (1) that ‘Joe’ is what he purported to be, and (2) that B. Husáyn Obáma will soon be elected POTUS, or rather, designated capo di tutti capi by his motley mob and zoo of zanies.
Nobody this side of Father Zeus has yet become privy to Von Wurzelbacher's business plan, if there is, or ever was, such a document, so the question as usually raised is entirely unanswerable -- who can say exactly what it is that the citizen originally purported to be? That puzzle, trivial as well as impenetrable, will not be discussed here.
Baron Mike has every right not to address the question either, for this silly goose claims nothing that she will not let virile and aristocratic ganders snatch possession of also. But alas, Baron Mike goes beyond not addressin’ the question and starts assumin’ the answer to it, which must be imputed unto him as a no-no. To set the record straight: Samuel Josef, Freiherr von Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. "Joe the Plumber," is the Ghost of Confiscation Future only at Wingnut City and Rio Limbaugh.
Admittedly it is impossible to be sure exactly what ‘Joe’ is an image for, or ghost of, with the MSM fiends. Their portrayal has been decidedly blurry. Only the weakest of jacks and jennies go so far as to suggest that Neocomrade K. Rove, or some lesser villain of his ilk, must have stationed Von Wurzelbacher in the path of the Senatorino deliberately. That is mere paranoia and benefits nobody. From the main herd of "Drive-Bys," one derives a vague impression that somehow the militant extremist Republican Party are cheatin’ when they deploy their good ol’ ideobuddy ‘Joe’ -- but if you can make out exactly what the fiends complain of, your eyes are sharper than this keyboard's.
(( I have already indicated my own private take: S. Josef von Wurzelbacher, the spittin’ image of "The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo," pretty nearly the luckiest human being that ever lived! Governess Paling of Alaska may seem superficially similar, but the analogy cannot be pressed half an inch before it breaks down. After all, the wasillacuda had to take positive steps for herself before her mediocrity became a household word, whereas Von Wurzelbacher has been handed much the same celebrity as Miss Sarah's on a platinum platter, havin’ never done anythin’ more to EARN it than to keep on breathin’ and just be where he happened to be. [*] But this view is so off-the-wall that decency must hide it away inside double parentheses. ))
Baron Mike of Murdochville, then, is a bit too audible as he creeps through the woods towards his intended scalpees. He rustles a few leaves and snaps a few twigs in the matter of Barry H. Trotsky's economic plans. Naturally this slight personal clumsiness would have no effect on the value of his predictions, should he deign to predict. Equally naturally, in the light of polls, he is not such a fool as to make any flat-out prediction about the future. Instead of a declarative sentence, we get a political-almanachy kind of interrogative:
| (...) Obama has shown that he more than meets the minimal standards for the office, as Ronald Reagan did in the single debate in 1980, and in a year like that one, in which most voters want the in party out, that will be enough. But the 1980 debate was on the Thursday before the election, and the decisive swing came over the weekend. Voters took almost every minute they could. Will they take more time this year, and give some thought to Joe the Plumber? |
This rhetoric cannot be misunderstood by non-wombscholars: if those [expletive deleted] undecideds will only please take their time and think a little, then the already Commanderissimo of AEI and GOP and EiB and Heritageopolis and Hooverville (&c. &c.) must necessarily become commander-in-chief of US all. Huzzah!
Otherwise, That One™ wins. And universal darkness covers all -- but that's another story. [**]
De Murdochville's position is close to, but not exactly identical with, the proposition that "Joe the Plumber" ought to win this one for the GOPpers. [**]
Happy days.
[*] To dispute Wall Street bailouts or any other point of mammonology with Baron Mike of Murdochville would be misguided, but perhaps it may pass as his almanachy sort of political anecdote to recall that the late monster George McGovern once more or less predicted the Age of Von Wurzelbacher, though doubtless inadvertently and certainly not by name. (Who could guess that name?) After popular response to his campaign proposal in 1972 to mail every citizen a $1,000.00 check proved disappointing, the Senator wondered to himself -- sotto voce if you like to imagine it that way, I quote from memory myself -- "What, do they all think they are going to win the lottery, then?"
’Nuff said.
[**] "In deference to this our double sorrow / Sun shall not shine today nor shine tomorrow!" (S. Brown apud M. Beerbohm)
[***] Using Baron Mike's turf-based title reminds me that His Grace of NewsCorp is more open-minded (or less sure which way to jump?) than one had expected: the Times of Rúpertstán endorsed B. Hussein Obáma, Friday 17 October 2008: "Barack Obama has shown the character, intelligence and judgment to be president. He is the better candidate for the White House."
Will wonders never cease?
Still, with umpteen days still remaining, Baron Mike has plenty of time to ring up Kangaroo Centre and recommend that they do some serious rethinkin’ up there and do it pronto.
The obnoxious leader is mainly about foreign and invasion policy. It does not venture any closer to Wurzelbacherland than "Secondly, [BHO] has needed to show that he is not a captive of his party's Left." Brit Rupertarians are not in Baron Mike's class as rhetors, obviously: what an awkward way of announcing that That One™ has in fact discaptivated itself to the editorial satisfaction! Still, there can be no doubt that this is what they think.
On the other hand, when Sassenachs talk about ‘Left’ and even capitalise the four-letter word, they are on firmer ground than Baron Mike can ever be out in the provinces. It has been a century and a quarter since the words "We are all socialists now" were uttered at London. U. S. News and World Report notions about Psocialism are hopelessly outclassed.
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