Dead Center

The surge has reduced violence. We should all be thrilled about that--and honored by the brilliance of those who have served in Iraq. But what we're talking about here is whipped cream on a pile of fertilizer--a regional policy unprecedented in its stupidity and squalor.

To this point has Sapientia Conventionalis come, Mr. Bones. Thus far and no farther. Thus far and not an inch short of it.

Mr. Joseph Klein of Looseworld and CNN is an admirable index of Miss Sappy's views because he never mixes in anything idiosyncratic of his own. He is the new Bill Moyers, as it was, providing access to the journalistic-liberal position on every fashionable issue, the pure substance of it entirely untouched by human thought.

Mr. Klein does mix a little electoral sawdust into the present peruna, it looks like, but that is OK, because Sappy understands about Homeland elections too. One might interfere with the Illinois Senatorino's chances, after all, if one admitted out loud that one like's one's violence unreduced, or that one is not particularly wowwed by the brainiaccitas of Dr. Gen. David. [1]

Though at the end of the day Mr. Klein is going to leave Little Brother and Big Party in the same deep bushogenic doo-doo as ever, en route to the dungheap he graciously pretends to eat a small slice of crow in the sight of Rio Limbaugh and Wingnut City: "As for me, I happily acknowledge that I was wrong about the surge."

Joeklein is insignificant in himself, obviously, but it matters a good deal that Miss Sappy thoroughly agrees with his happy acknowledging. Princess Posterity may not be very forgiving about their brand of happiness. What serious moralist can be satisfied with frivolous amateurs who pronounce themselves pleased when the robbers get away with their swag? Televisionland and the electorate might plead that they are applying TV standards, that "Daddy's Dubya Takes On Global Tourism" is only a light entertainment, after all, and no fit occasion for anybody sounding off like Cato the Elder on either side, not Bob Cardinal Spencer and Blessèd Hugh the Simple from their cloister of phobias, nor thee and me from our blogspa, Mr. Bones.

They might so plead, but they don't. They see no need to plead, nothing to charge themselves with. It simply does not cross Miss Sappy's somewhat limited mind that she should not go about in the world giving the impression that she thinks lawless aggression is fine as long as it is successful, and especially not when the success of it involves points scored by her own holy Homeland. Patagonians and Latvians and Singhalese who approve of Greater Texas invasionizin’ the former Iraq on some general principle of their own, one that is not a cover for making distinctions of persons, are not in the same boat with Sappy and her court jester. Princess Posterity is unlikely to agree with their theories, but disinterestedness possesses a certain value in ethics independent of other circumstances. Sappy and Joeklein cannot seriously pretend to be distinterested when they "happily acknowledge ...."

The latter is willing to take a stab at unserious pretending, though, and that is what I find most interesting in his scribble: "The surge has reduced violence. We should all be thrilled about that." A thoroughly journalistic-liberal sentiment, that one. The Big Management Party's base and vile believe nothin’ of the sort, by and large. Dr. Limbaugh, for example, is pleased as punch with David and David's SuRGe, but not at all for Joeklein's silly bleedin’-heart kind of "should." I daresay Citizen Rush would be even better pleased than punch if the level of violence in the former Iraq were higher than it is --provided the additional violence were properly distributed. Wicked terroristical Bambi is not to scratch the noble hide of Godzilla von Crawford -- that goes without saying! But the other way around, who cares? Only little girls and other wimps would burble with joy about "reduced violence"! Everybody knows that.



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[1] Electiontide compels Joe and Sappy to visibly -- or, if possible, ostentatiously -- cherish the brilliance of ALL those who have served in Iraq. But seriously: "I was, and am, a huge fan of counterinsurgency doctrine, and an admirer of David Petraeus" says Joe. The details of McNamarano-Petraean dogmatic theology are a little over Miss Sappy's head, I expect, but then they are over Joe's head also. Si tacuisses! Joe gives his ignorance away by insisting on a bluff when silence would cost less and work better.

Within the regulation 750 words here, we get two completely distinct joekleinian bluffs. Not just the Mil. Sci. one ("Some of his most effective actions were traditional kinetic assaults on terrorist strongholds"), but a See-Might Philology bluff tossed in at no extra charge a couple of sentences later, "The biggest break was the decision of the Sunni tribes to switch sides and oppose the taqfiri terrorists." [Read ’iqfárí, assuming JK meant "desolationist." Cf. Wehr (3) 781a.]

So just toss in the occasional 'Q' somewhere everybody else writes an unexotic 'K', Mr. Bones, and then Miss Sappy will swoon and mistake you for Theodor Noeldeke's favorite nephew on the spot!

Hmm, any number can play, and many of us numbers can even up the ante: "The quinetic apotheosis of Joeqlein," how about that, sir? Imagine it as the title of a Spanish Baroque painting, perhaps....